How hard is it being a Wife and Mother??

If you all follow my facebook page MommyinMakeup I posted a video Monday Night. The video is of Jada Pickett Smith Answering her daughter Willow Smith’s question. Her question to her mother was How hard is it being a Wife and Mother? If you want to see the video here is the link:

Honestly I couldn’t have said Jada’s answer any better myself. As a wife and as a mother we get so caught up in trying to be perfect. Perfect for our Husbands, Perfect for our kids that we forget to be perfect for ourselves and to be true to ourselves. When we become mothers we fall into what other people tells us we need to be, what other people believe we have to be or else we will fail as mothers. Going out and taking time for ourselves in other eyes means your not taking care of your kids. The world makes us believe that if we leave our kids for just a second we are terrible mothers. So instead we make our lives all about our kids and all about our husbands, we completely forget that for us to have the ability to help our kids move forward and help our husbands achieve their goals we have to make our lives not only about them but about us. If I’m not happy and I am constantly blaming my kids or my husband because I take no time for me then I’m not exactly helping them. I become the problem not the solution, and as a mom we are the solution. The husband is the head and we are the heart, the spine, the lungs lol not saying men don’t care or they don’t help they do but as a mom we do things differently then our husbands and there is nothing wrong with that.

I remember when I first had my daughter I never did anything I can count on one hand how many times she stayed with someone else her first year of life. She never stayed longer than 2 hours with anyone, I did not go out and drink, I did not do anything that my daughter could not be there with me while I did it. Which also ment I spent a great deal of my time looking at the same four walls every day. If I went out I felt like I was being a bad mother, I felt like drinking was a huge no no because I have a baby girl at home who depends on me and needs me what if something happened to her while I was “getting drunk” I would never forgive myself. What if I left her with someone else and harm came to her I would NEVER forgive myself so I gave up all the me stuff and made it us stuff. It took a while for me to get out of that, not that I don’t still worry about her but I now know I can’t be a over protective mother and not let her go places and I can’t deprive myself of having a life outside of my kids and my fiance because at the end of the day we have to remember to take care of us first. Once mommy falls down they all fall down, that saying happy wife, happy life ok well I don’t believe in it a lot but I do believe that when mommy is happy the house stays balanced and you kids and your husband stay happy. Now that’s not in the terms of oh for me to be happy they have to do this..this…and this for me no. Mommy staying happy has to do with mommy keeping herself balanced and happy. You can’t expect your kids or husband/S.O to love you the “way you think you need to be loved” if you don’t even know how to love yourself.

Find something that makes you happy, that makes you think, that makes you find you again. I completely lost myself when I had my daughter and I got to the point that I was so depressed I didn’t want to move I was ready for it all to be over, but it wasn’t my daughters fault it wasn’t my fiances fault it was my own for forgetting how to take care of me and forgetting how to love me because I was giving all the love I thought I had at that point to my kids and my fiance I didn’t feel like I had any more love to give. I know some people are like i don’t know what your talking about I had my kids and I was perfectly fine…well that is awesome FOR YOU but not everyone has it like that. So many mothers fall into just being afraid that we just might fail and we forget that we are going to make mistakes but we have to keep going one mistake DOES NOT = a fail. We will make the wrong decisions for our families, we will make great decisions for our families, we will make a crap ton of mistakes because we are human and that is where you staying positive and happy comes into play because you won’t just give up, you’ll pick yourself/ you family up and keep it moving. Being moms we feel so much pressure, so much anxiety, so much just plain ol craziness that we forget to take a step back look at the bigger picture, love our kids, love our husbands, but we have to love ourselves as well.

P.S Everyone I am so so so happy to announce that I will now be selling children s books. I am so huge on reading with my kiddos and now I can share my love and help other parents show their kids the benefits of READING. To checkout the books we sell please visit my website link is below, if you have any questions please feel free to email me or fb message me. If you would like to book a event and have a chance to get free books let me know.



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